The Leadership Tax
Good leadership takes its toll
I don’t think we talk often enough about the toll leadership takes on people.
It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately:
Why so many people no longer aspire to leadership roles. According to a recent Forbes article, 41% of workers have no interest in becoming a manager. Wow.
Why so many managers are voluntarily stepping back to individual contributor roles. Trading the title and salary for more autonomy, greater control, and way less stress.
Why so many leaders are burning out … and then opting out. I saw this play out in real time at Amazon. After a 20+ year career in big tech, one of my former colleagues left to become a high school teacher.
Leadership isn’t right for everybody, for sure. I’ve written before that not everyone can—or should—be a leader. (Read more in Not Everyone Can Lead.)
And for those of us who are called to lead, it isn’t always fun. Worthwhile, yes. Fun? It has its moments, but many days—not so much.
It’s … a lot
I see so many good leaders struggle under the weight of the challenges we are asked to navigate Every. Single. Day:
Balancing the company’s interests with care for our employees
Supporting an employee who’s recently suffered a devastating loss
Driving change while not leaving anyone behind
Aligning everyone on a clear strategy while determining in real time when to stay the course—and when to change it
Mediating conflict between two equally valued team members
Making high-quality decisions with far less information or time than you’d like
Maintaining composure and calming reassurance through every obstacle—no matter how you actually feel on the inside
Satisfying the competing needs of customers and board members and colleagues and team members, all at the same time
We struggle not because we’re not smart, capable, or can’t rise to the challenge. We struggle because we care—deeply.
We care about making good decisions and doing the “right” thing (spoiler alert: you won’t always get it right and that has to be okay). We care about our people, their wellbeing, and the impact our decisions will have on them.
The price we pay
Good leaders do really hard things every day, and we don’t give each other and ourselves enough grace for that.
It takes its toll. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.
Particularly emotionally. It requires a lot of emotional energy to navigate complex situations and conflicting priorities day-in and day-out, year after year—and for some of us—decade after decade.
No matter how experienced or adept we are, there is one thing we cannot overcome: at the end of the day, we are only human.
Thank goodness for that.
Because for all our flaws, more humanity is what we need in leadership right now. But that deeply human work comes with a price—good leaders carry a weight that other people rarely see.
And maybe we should talk about that more often.
Bonus read: As I get ready to go to the third Seattle Storm home game in five days (go Storm!), I’m reminded about the leadership lessons we can learn from outstanding coaches—like the Golden State Valkyries head coach, Natalie Nakase.
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This is an important perspective. Leadership comes with opportunities, influence, and responsibility, but it also carries costs that are rarely talked about openly. The emotional load, difficult decisions, and constant balancing act are part of the role, whether we acknowledge them or not.
Raechelle, absolutely agree. Leadership is a beautiful gift, but comes with added angst, stress and pressure. Organisations and executive teams need to do more to manage this.