Love The Work, Not The Job
Why chasing the perfect job will always break your heart ... and how to find work that sparks joy, instead
Do you know the expression, do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life?
Too many of us have this twisted. We equate work to job/role/title. We are continually searching for the perfect role at the perfect company to find that “I love my job!” feeling and fulfill some romanticized vision of what work should be.
And we’re failing miserably, because there’s no such thing as perfect … or true love (at least not in the work sense).
You may think you love your job, but it’s completely unrequited. One of the hardest lessons to learn is that your employer does not care about you, not one little bit.
“But Rae, I don’t work for a soulless corporation,” you’ll say. “My [education / nonprofit / B-corp / small family business] employer is different.”
It may be … until it’s not.
I used to be that person.
That person whose whole identity was wrapped up in their job.
Then one day, at the end of 2019, I stopped being a CIO. My identity—and my community—disappeared overnight. And I struggled with that, for a long time. I didn’t know who I was outside of being a CIO.
Then I joined Amazon, and I got to be part of the world’s most innovative and customer-obsessed companies. An Amazonian. A Bar Raiser. And I loved that, too.
Shortly after I joined Amazon, I had to counsel someone who had been put on a performance improvement plan: bust their a** for 30 days to meet the (largely unattainable) plan or take the exit package and move on to something new.
Objectively, it was a simple decision. But this person loved being an Amazonian. It was a core part of their identity. So there was nothing easy about this choice.
Then in 2023, layoffs hit.
One morning, thousands of Amazonians woke up to find themselves locked out of their accounts.
They were new hires and folks who had been with the company for years.
They were based out of a local office or working remotely.
They were traveling on a work trip or out on parental leave.
They were top performers or barely hanging on.
They loved their job … or they hated it.
None of it mattered. There was no (apparent) rhyme or reason to the decisions. One day they were Amazonians and the next, they were not.
The layoffs were difficult for everyone, but they were especially challenging for those who deeply identified with their job and being an Amazonian.
They suffered twice—the loss of a paycheck and the loss of their work identity.
Why am I telling you this?
Not surprisingly, real life fails to live up to the fairy tale of the perfect job. Just when you think you’ve found the one …
Your role is refocused, because AI.
Your flexible, work-from-home environment gets RTOed.
Your team gets reorganized.
The manager you love leaves the company.
Your company gets acquired and the once-great culture goes out the window.
Sh*t changes all. the. time. Your heart breaks. And then it changes some more, and your heart breaks all over again.
There is a better way.
Identify the characteristics of work that spark joy and evaluate each job, role, team, and company through that lens—and do it again with each and every change that occurs.
Do you prefer leading projects or leading teams?
Are you tactical or strategic?
Do you thrive in simple and orderly environments or is chaos and complexity more your style?
Do you prefer individual or consensus-driven decision-making?
Are you a uniter or a disruptor?
Do you like working on many things at once, or one thing at a time?
What type of impact is important in your work?
By separating these qualities from the role, team, or company you do it for, you can more easily distinguish between the job you have and the work you love.
You can identify when those two things are no longer the same. And, you can maintain a consistent work identity across roles and companies if and as these change—no matter how the change is initiated.
You can continue to love your work, regardless of your company, title, or role.
For me, the core of work I have always loved is …
developing leaders and building inclusive teams
cutting through ambiguity, complexity, and “the way we’ve always done it” to create strategy and vision for the future
leading organizations through transformation and change
making an impact—in my role and in the world
And here’s the thing—I can do this work in many different roles, not only as a CIO or an Amazonian.
I don’t need to tie my identity to my title, job, or company to do work that I love.
And neither do you.
Bonus read: Keep moving forward has been a core theme throughout my career. So of course I wrote about it.
Just read this and wow, what an insightful piece. It really made me pause and reflect in a way I don’t often do. It reminded me that staying true to what I love about my work matters so much more than titles or tech buzzwords. Great read!