Don't Be An A*Hole
You're gonna piss people off, but don't be a jerk about it
A colleague once told me: “If you’re not pissing people off, you’re probably not doing your job.”
Sugarcoating wasn’t their style. It was characteristically blunt, if not the most eloquent advice. But also true.
As a leader, you’re not going to be universally liked. And if you are, well—you’re likely not making the tough decisions that your role requires.
Like changing strategic direction. Cutting programs. Redirecting resources from a beloved initiative. Or managing people out.
Let’s be honest
No one likes being told they aren’t performing in their role. Or being laid off—not because of performance, but because the organization is restructuring.
Folks really love that. 😳
Early in my CIO career, I led an IT restructuring that resulted in five people losing their jobs. The blast radius on this one decision was significant:
The individuals directly impacted were (quite understandably) upset.
Their immediate teammates were shaken by the organizational changes and sudden loss of their colleagues.
Faculty were up in arms. Several emailed the president that this decision did not reflect our institution’s values—we were “family” and family did not behave this way.
It was absolutely the right thing to do for the organization, but it wasn’t easy. It pissed a lot of people off.
That said …
Don’t be an asshole, either.
Some people interpret the “if you’re not pissing people off …” saying as license to do and say whatever they want, whenever they want. Just … don’t.
Leadership requires conviction to do the right thing, and care for how people will be impacted by it.
It requires courage to make tough decisions, coupled with discernment to know the difference between an unpopular decision and the wrong one.
It requires transparency and the fortitude to sit with the discomfort that sharing unwelcome news creates—but sharing it anyway.
The hallmark of a good leader isn’t whether someone likes you.
It’s if they understand your decision-making process. If they believe you’re an honest broker. And if they respect how you show up …
Even if they don’t like a decision you’ve made.
Bonus read: Leadership isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay.
Cover photo credit: charlesdeluvio on Unsplash